April

Its been a while since I've been here so I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm really starting to doubt that 2007 is my year. I just can't win! The wisdom tooth thing went horribly. Well, it went fine, no damaged nerves or death from anesthetic, but the days following I did anything but recover. I just kept getting worse and in the end wanted to go back to the hospital. Turns out I had an infection, I my body was overdosed on paracetmol. Fun times, I was even sicker than the wedding/alcohol poisoning weekend.

But I'm on the mend now, and have had much time to reflect. On whats happening now and what I used to do. I'm getting used to this non uni lifestyle, its insane, you finish work and then you go home. And thats it, about 5 hours till you go to bed, and you can do WHATEVER YOU WANT. I could get used to this. Haven;t really got used to having money because its all going on my trip, bills and birthday presents, but I guess thats a good thing, so If I do go back to studying it won't be such a shock. My friends are sick of hearing it, but yes, I still don't understand how I can be this busy superwoman with no spare time, to having an abundance of spare time and less stress, and a relationship crumbling at the quiet point in my life, not the busy times. Just for clarification, the crumble didn't cause the quiet.

But I'm enjoying the quiet. I am loving work, best job I've ever had, though I'm a bit worried I need to do a bit of shift swapping this week, I won't be in the good books. They hired a new chick in the week I was away sick, I hope I don't lose any shifts, I'm getting used to a job we're I'm valued and not dispenable. I still feel that guilt that I'm not achiecing anything and I'm standing static, but I must remind myself that I'm having a rest, I've done alot more than alot of people my age and this year isn't all bad, if it all works out I'll be in the states for 3 months, come home with a nice debt though. Oh well, you only live once.

I want to be more optimistic, have hope for what is coming, but I don't know what is so its hard. I've plenty to look forward to, if only I had more cash to enjoy it, But hey, money's not everything. But Aprils nearly over, bring on May, its looking go so far. Birthday, Simone, Alexis, The Used. Then June Brings America. Yay for 2007.

Dates

4 days till Adams Party.
7 days till I get my wisdom teeth out and Adams Birthday.
8 Days till Jackies Birthday.
20 Days till My birthday.
34 Days till Simone comes back.
36 days till Alexisonfire.
39 days till the Used.
XX days till I leave this country.

April Update.

WELL..... What is news?
We came second in the finals. Which is awesome. And we had moved up a division now! Hell yeah getting somewhere in the Cranbourne Ladies Monday nights..
Also, everything still tastes like Milk. I don't know what I do, I could eat curry or a banana, 20 minutes later I feel like I've drunk milk.
I've FINALLY stopped crying everyday, I think the turning point was at work ( Bad place) and the guy least likely to be nice was doing just that, so it cheered me up.
Still on the America posssibly more plan, but I have saved jack shit. So better knuckle down.
Saw New Found Glory last night, I wish I was a reviewer, that would be the best job, I don't want to do anything but see bands at the moment. I was about 1 metre away from being able to touch Jordan, fucking awesome.
The rest of the night picking up the boys from the city was pretty funny, turns out guys have bitch fights as well.

I think I'll be a shithousewife

Quiz

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Leave of Absinth

Hoorah!!
I finally made up my mind. Leave of Absence. No, I'm not leaving. Definately not done with my studying days. I actually want to go back. The minute I decided ( with the help of PA), I felt such a sense of relief, like this grey cloud hovering just disappeared. I know its the right decison. And I'm excited about it. A year off to get my head together. To get out of this country. To finish work and have a weekend and not think about homework. I'm really excited about the prospect of going back refreshed and hopefully more mature. It sucks I can't do 4th year with Anni and Clare, but there will be Em, and a new bunch of kids to get to know. And I would have brought the mood down, and wouldn't have been much fun.

Life Plan??

So when are you meant to know what you are doing with your life? When is it meant to come to you? I thought I had it all worked out, but my lack of desire to continue with Fashion is killing me. Its only one year, I'm sure it will benefit me, but I just can't decide wether I want to do it or not. That burning passion I used to have is just not there. I have no collection Ideas. I don't know where I'm going to do a placement. I'm thinking too much and its hurting my brain. AH!! So there are pluses and minuses for both sides. Right now I can't be bothered doing much. I was expecting inspiration to just slap me in the face. Ha ha ha. I just feel like I'm giving up if I leave now. I've got the degree, half of the year level left, why can't I? I want to be one of those people with direction. I think I that I used to be one of those people. I used to pity people like me. I feel like such a loser and so damn INDECISIVE. If I stay at Uni I don't want to bring the team down. But if I leave I will never know what could have been and will probably regret it. I don't know if I have the discipline. I'm not sure what I'm about anymore and its horrible.