Saturday, 24 March 2007

Leave of Absinth

I finally made up my mind. Leave of Absence. No, I'm not leaving. Definately not done with my studying days. I actually want to go back. The minute I decided ( with the help of PA), I felt such a sense of relief, like this grey cloud hovering just disappeared. I know its the right decison. And I'm excited about it. A year off to get my head together. To get out of this country. To finish work and have a weekend and not think about homework. I'm really excited about the prospect of going back refreshed and hopefully more mature. It sucks I can't do 4th year with Anni and Clare, but there will be Em, and a new bunch of kids to get to know. And I would have brought the mood down, and wouldn't have been much fun.

Friday, 16 March 2007

Life Plan??

So when are you meant to know what you are doing with your life? When is it meant to come to you? I thought I had it all worked out, but my lack of desire to continue with Fashion is killing me. Its only one year, I'm sure it will benefit me, but I just can't decide wether I want to do it or not. That burning passion I used to have is just not there. I have no collection Ideas. I don't know where I'm going to do a placement. I'm thinking too much and its hurting my brain. AH!! So there are pluses and minuses for both sides. Right now I can't be bothered doing much. I was expecting inspiration to just slap me in the face. Ha ha ha. I just feel like I'm giving up if I leave now. I've got the degree, half of the year level left, why can't I? I want to be one of those people with direction. I think I that I used to be one of those people. I used to pity people like me. I feel like such a loser and so damn INDECISIVE. If I stay at Uni I don't want to bring the team down. But if I leave I will never know what could have been and will probably regret it. I don't know if I have the discipline. I'm not sure what I'm about anymore and its horrible.

Sunday, 11 March 2007

March is...

What is news?
I really can't be bothered going to uni. It takes so much passion and drive to be there, and I just don't feel like I have it in me right now. Contemplating working at JB a bit more and then leave this country for a bit., I need some adventure.

Other news. Jake, Adam, Daniel and I all got tonsilitus within a week of each other. Weird.

My brother is famous. Everywhere I go, be it clubs he is WAY to young to get into or my mates parties, everyone asks for him.

March Band madness has been good, Unwritten Law were FUCKING AWESOME, was pretty cool having our guest tickets, thanks Shock! +44, so so. Not sure what was with the cover that NO-ONE knew. Mark was cool, he knew it. No Travis sucked. But Unwritten Law clearly outshone them, and Scotts pants were far too low for male enjoyment.
Fall Out Boy were Great, wait thats not a good word, lets say Brilliant, I want more, I wish I saw them in Sydney. I have swollen tonsils/thraot region as a result of yelling so much, possibly at Pete Wentz, what a show pony! But we all loved it.
I'm sure Strike Anyhwere were great last night, but tonsiltus kept me from finding out. Ah well, they'll be back.

Thats about it.

Wait, Fashion week. For a 4th year I didn't really show much interest. Probably because the festival didn't hire me. But I heard that in one show, apart from being disorganised, one models outfit came undone and her shoe fell off. Hahaha i surely hope that wouldn;t have happened with me. The business seminar was interesting, though I did fall asleep in parts.

Oh yeah, Turns out full time uni, going out most nights and working 30 hours a week is kinda tiring.

Sunday, 4 March 2007


Best night last night. Feeling better about everything.
This bad mood is finally gone. Better things are coming my way. I still miss him and am hurt that I wasn't enough for someone. But it doesn't matter anymore. Why be with someone that does believe in you? Your partner is meant to be your biggest fan. It seems so odd, I thought everyone loved me. That sounds so vain. But its a two way street, I love everyone back. How on earth did I end up with the one guy that didn't?

I was talking forgot that, believe it or not, people may actually be interested in ME. My lecturer was telling me about how he saw all our myspaces (!@#$!), and how mine was 'The Eloise we all know and love'. I was in such a hole I forgot that people still think I'm alright.
A drunken night must have been just what I needed. For the second night a row, was sitting at home planning a quiet night, and Son invited me out.
I must have got drunk, because when someone asked me my name I took me about 5 seconds to answer. I was like, wait... you know this one.. Dan was discussing our mutual friend, and I said, she thinks I'm greater than I really am. 'I'm not the great'. Dan said, 'Oh, but you are'. He was probably joking, but still, twas nice to hear.

Also, I LOVE friendly people. I saw Simone's friend Gerald, had a great chat, only to discover that it was actually his BROTHER!! He was so nice though
So yes, no

Thursday, 1 March 2007

Fresh start March

I've decided to write January and February off. Oh, probably the later half of last year as well. This year hasn't been great, but starting from today it will be. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Say hello to good times.

A good time to reflect on what I've learnt ( Don't waste your time getting attatched to someone that doesn't care about you, don't risk your friendships for someone who doesn't do the same for you, NEVER doubt yourself, or be with those who do)
Goodtime to just let go, write off the last few months as a big learning kerb, geeze, what a waste of time that was. Too many months of people asking me what was wrong, that I'm not myself and look pre-occupied. Its all about ME now.

Fresh start March begins with going back to Uni. I'm still scared people are going to notice I'm not the same Eloise. Oh, but I'll be back. I feel myself more every day. The hurt of being cut out still bothers me, but I spose he's the one with problems, his way of dealing with the loss of ME!

Who'd have thought my sister had the best advice out of anyone? She's been her all along, I wish I listened to her sooner.

Fresh start March is celebrated tonight with +44 and Unwritten Law. Many thanks to the Shock Rep for that one. Then off to Uni to start class for 4TH YEAR!!! Be the next Toni Maticeviski or something. This year is gonna be great.