Monday, 15 June 2009

June Update 09

So its been a while, having felt like blogging, but need to capture my mood in text today. I am sick, I am tired, and feel like I have learnt many lessons.
I went into the market venture as a learning experience, learnt much I did, I wish that I didn't feel so burned in terms of friendship, but hey, you live you learn right??
Just finished Scar Tissue, RHCP seem so much more meaningfull now. So lets steal Anthony Kiedis' words and say, "I don't ever want to feel, like I did that day'
With regards to saturday, I was a broken woman, more stressfull than uni and I don't ever want to be at that point ever again in my life. If it wasn't for my mum I think I be curled up in a fetal position right now. Friends are friends, don't get involved in group work, for that I have learnt. But that feeling, I can't feel again. I was telling my friend this, and he found this interesting as I must have been putting the pressure on myself, not uni/lecturer pressure. Which maybe means I need to chill the fuck out, or hang out with people that are alot more chilled than I. It makes me re-think my career choices, the fashion industry, and brings me back to questioning where I am going in life, and I hate feeling directionless. When people say, what do you look for in a partner, with the obvious answers being something like, "Handsome", 'Funny", "Connection' blah blah I always think a sense of ambition and passion for what they do. Which is a little hypocritical right now.

But hey, enough of the whinging, I need to be a like a phoenix, rise from the ashes so to speak. Thanks for everyone who has helped me along so far, I need to be more of a giver and less of a taker. I also need to clean up my room is the messiest it has ever been. That's it for now. Peace.