I’m calling all my oldest friends,
Saying sorry for this mess we’re in.
And I’m waiting, waiting,
For the sun to come and melt this snow,
Wash away the pain and give me back control, control.
Winter- Bayside.
Although I declared the winter of my discontent to be over, rough seas are forecast ahead. So I need to call my friends and explain this mess I'm in. eloiseland isn't so sunny right now, come in, plant some flowers in the garden, and I'll be sure to water your plants when you're on holiday. Aka- things aren't 100% right now, please help, but I'll be sure to return the favour.
I haven't yet decided how I am going to deal with My sister being sick again, last time I was 16. Punk rock? Exercise? Hell, I'm even considering religion. I need distraction and support. Time to toughen up.
Thursday, 29 October 2009
Thursday, 24 September 2009
A book told me I had to write my feelings down.
So here I am after said book said it would be a good idea.
I'm not sure where to start.
I have been assigned at week long break from work, and also advised not to drink.
Great.
Seeing as most of this blog is mostly about boys, and I started this blog as I had no-one to talk to, I shall continue with the trend.
I was discussing how most the boys I'd met, were boys from the same scene from the same clubs, but all making impact on my life.
I think people come to your life for a reason, and you have a lesson to be learnt from them. And sometimes that lesson is not always a good one.
We'll start with Benny. You taught me that sometimes, you are just too young for someone, and the lessons they have learnt cannot be undone, no matter how much you want them to.
Then L. I wasn't in love with you, even though you thought I was. Adam summed it up well. 'Sometimes, some people, just don't like some people'. No matter how many jager bombs you buy me I'll hopefully never reneg. Lesson learnt- Some people are just not into you!
N. We weren't ever anything, but you inspired me to look for a mental match in life, even if that means weirdos like us. Please keep spreading your infectious energy and passion for punk rock. Lesson learnt- Be yourself.
Next we'll go with S. Ahhh such impact you had on my life. I liked you, I really did, but I knew it wasn't meant to be. Thanks for apoligising for ruining my life, you broke my little heart and it took a while to get over. You took my youthful innocence and I've never got it back. Lesson learnt- Don't go out with someone that doesn't make you feel yourself.
L. You liked me even though I thought I was a piece of shit at the time. I'm sorry we were shit to each other, it could have been good. Lesson learnt- Some things will remain unresolved.
R. I'm not sure if I still dislike you, but please don't convince a girl they are your soulmate and then ignore them ever again. Don't fake it. Lesson learnt- Don't go out with someone when you are not over the last guy, you will be blind to reality.
A. Quite the rare bird. I am really not sure what lesson you are, good or bad . We'll see in time.
Ok that blog was really not what I am feeling right now, but hey, it killed some time. I'm not sure anyone reads this anyway.
Peace.
I'm not sure where to start.
I have been assigned at week long break from work, and also advised not to drink.
Great.
Seeing as most of this blog is mostly about boys, and I started this blog as I had no-one to talk to, I shall continue with the trend.
I was discussing how most the boys I'd met, were boys from the same scene from the same clubs, but all making impact on my life.
I think people come to your life for a reason, and you have a lesson to be learnt from them. And sometimes that lesson is not always a good one.
We'll start with Benny. You taught me that sometimes, you are just too young for someone, and the lessons they have learnt cannot be undone, no matter how much you want them to.
Then L. I wasn't in love with you, even though you thought I was. Adam summed it up well. 'Sometimes, some people, just don't like some people'. No matter how many jager bombs you buy me I'll hopefully never reneg. Lesson learnt- Some people are just not into you!
N. We weren't ever anything, but you inspired me to look for a mental match in life, even if that means weirdos like us. Please keep spreading your infectious energy and passion for punk rock. Lesson learnt- Be yourself.
Next we'll go with S. Ahhh such impact you had on my life. I liked you, I really did, but I knew it wasn't meant to be. Thanks for apoligising for ruining my life, you broke my little heart and it took a while to get over. You took my youthful innocence and I've never got it back. Lesson learnt- Don't go out with someone that doesn't make you feel yourself.
L. You liked me even though I thought I was a piece of shit at the time. I'm sorry we were shit to each other, it could have been good. Lesson learnt- Some things will remain unresolved.
R. I'm not sure if I still dislike you, but please don't convince a girl they are your soulmate and then ignore them ever again. Don't fake it. Lesson learnt- Don't go out with someone when you are not over the last guy, you will be blind to reality.
A. Quite the rare bird. I am really not sure what lesson you are, good or bad . We'll see in time.
Ok that blog was really not what I am feeling right now, but hey, it killed some time. I'm not sure anyone reads this anyway.
Peace.
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Your life's a crime scene, and it won't help to blame me...
So I thought I'd start a blog post with a Bayside quote, seeing as when I lose my shit I feel like my life is a bit of a crime scene.
I have learnt FARRRRRRRRRrr too many lessons this year, I am just about done, let the good times roll, please?
-Don't study a highly specialised field and expect a graduate job.
-Don't rely on others.
-Don't go into business with friends.
-Don't forget to put oil and water in your car.
-Don't expect all friendships to stay the same. Things change.
-Don't be impatient with boys, and expect too much too soon.
-Don't put your iPhone in a small pocket than go to the toilet.
-Don't stalk boys ex girl friends facebooks, they may write nasty comments, but you can't retaliate due to being a lurker in the first place.
-Don't drink more than 2 glasses on wine in one sitting. It makes you spew.
-Don't wear your Melissa's for all of the night.
-Don't forget to put your wallet ACTUALLY in your bag.
Far to much learning, now to get on with living.
I have learnt FARRRRRRRRRrr too many lessons this year, I am just about done, let the good times roll, please?
-Don't study a highly specialised field and expect a graduate job.
-Don't rely on others.
-Don't go into business with friends.
-Don't forget to put oil and water in your car.
-Don't expect all friendships to stay the same. Things change.
-Don't be impatient with boys, and expect too much too soon.
-Don't put your iPhone in a small pocket than go to the toilet.
-Don't stalk boys ex girl friends facebooks, they may write nasty comments, but you can't retaliate due to being a lurker in the first place.
-Don't drink more than 2 glasses on wine in one sitting. It makes you spew.
-Don't wear your Melissa's for all of the night.
-Don't forget to put your wallet ACTUALLY in your bag.
Far to much learning, now to get on with living.
Thursday, 3 September 2009
September.
Oh Gosh, its September, 2/3rds of the year is already over?
What the fuck am I doing??
I am about to fall into a big hole, someone stop me please.
There are bright lights on the horizon, I just can't see them right now.
What the fuck am I doing??
I am about to fall into a big hole, someone stop me please.
There are bright lights on the horizon, I just can't see them right now.
Monday, 10 August 2009
Boys boys boys.
They Suck.
I also suck, for wasting time chasing one that is not into me.
Someone put me out of my Misery!
I also suck, for wasting time chasing one that is not into me.
Someone put me out of my Misery!
Monday, 3 August 2009
Life on a Plate
So I can't say really much has happened lately.
There was an article today about a someone who sued their uni as they were yet to land a grad job.
The girl sounded like she was waiting for the world to come to her on a platter, but shit, wouldn't I like to give RMIT a piece for their false expectations?
The grad job thing is the biggest thing on my mind right now.
Need to stop worrying about silly boys, ( Albeit a boy that doesn't know the difference between Dallas Green and Anthony Green, interestingly enough).
Back on the fitness Health kick, I finaly want to do something about it. Little disgruntled about the Doctor that told me "there was no reason for a 24 year old to weigh that much', but who do you take someone who recommends diet shakes seriously?
I need to keep on pushing, with everything, take on new projects and hobbies, courses, and just figure where the hell I am meant to throw myself.
Production Assistant for some generic chain that rips off an O/s generic chain really just isn't that inticing.
Most biggest shakeup was moving stores at work. Got FT hours, little gibbed on the exact role, but hey, its not all bad. Dandy is full of good kids, didn;t realise I disliked Narre as much as I did, just made me feel really shit at life and stole my confidence.
It's funny how so many little things can affect my mood, but generally I am pretty happy at the moment. I need to harness this positive energy. And know that life does not come to you on a plate.
There was an article today about a someone who sued their uni as they were yet to land a grad job.
The girl sounded like she was waiting for the world to come to her on a platter, but shit, wouldn't I like to give RMIT a piece for their false expectations?
The grad job thing is the biggest thing on my mind right now.
Need to stop worrying about silly boys, ( Albeit a boy that doesn't know the difference between Dallas Green and Anthony Green, interestingly enough).
Back on the fitness Health kick, I finaly want to do something about it. Little disgruntled about the Doctor that told me "there was no reason for a 24 year old to weigh that much', but who do you take someone who recommends diet shakes seriously?
I need to keep on pushing, with everything, take on new projects and hobbies, courses, and just figure where the hell I am meant to throw myself.
Production Assistant for some generic chain that rips off an O/s generic chain really just isn't that inticing.
Most biggest shakeup was moving stores at work. Got FT hours, little gibbed on the exact role, but hey, its not all bad. Dandy is full of good kids, didn;t realise I disliked Narre as much as I did, just made me feel really shit at life and stole my confidence.
It's funny how so many little things can affect my mood, but generally I am pretty happy at the moment. I need to harness this positive energy. And know that life does not come to you on a plate.
Monday, 15 June 2009
June Update 09
So its been a while, having felt like blogging, but need to capture my mood in text today. I am sick, I am tired, and feel like I have learnt many lessons.
I went into the market venture as a learning experience, learnt much I did, I wish that I didn't feel so burned in terms of friendship, but hey, you live you learn right??
Just finished Scar Tissue, RHCP seem so much more meaningfull now. So lets steal Anthony Kiedis' words and say, "I don't ever want to feel, like I did that day'
With regards to saturday, I was a broken woman, more stressfull than uni and I don't ever want to be at that point ever again in my life. If it wasn't for my mum I think I be curled up in a fetal position right now. Friends are friends, don't get involved in group work, for that I have learnt. But that feeling, I can't feel again. I was telling my friend this, and he found this interesting as I must have been putting the pressure on myself, not uni/lecturer pressure. Which maybe means I need to chill the fuck out, or hang out with people that are alot more chilled than I. It makes me re-think my career choices, the fashion industry, and brings me back to questioning where I am going in life, and I hate feeling directionless. When people say, what do you look for in a partner, with the obvious answers being something like, "Handsome", 'Funny", "Connection' blah blah I always think a sense of ambition and passion for what they do. Which is a little hypocritical right now.
But hey, enough of the whinging, I need to be a like a phoenix, rise from the ashes so to speak. Thanks for everyone who has helped me along so far, I need to be more of a giver and less of a taker. I also need to clean up my room is the messiest it has ever been. That's it for now. Peace.
I went into the market venture as a learning experience, learnt much I did, I wish that I didn't feel so burned in terms of friendship, but hey, you live you learn right??
Just finished Scar Tissue, RHCP seem so much more meaningfull now. So lets steal Anthony Kiedis' words and say, "I don't ever want to feel, like I did that day'
With regards to saturday, I was a broken woman, more stressfull than uni and I don't ever want to be at that point ever again in my life. If it wasn't for my mum I think I be curled up in a fetal position right now. Friends are friends, don't get involved in group work, for that I have learnt. But that feeling, I can't feel again. I was telling my friend this, and he found this interesting as I must have been putting the pressure on myself, not uni/lecturer pressure. Which maybe means I need to chill the fuck out, or hang out with people that are alot more chilled than I. It makes me re-think my career choices, the fashion industry, and brings me back to questioning where I am going in life, and I hate feeling directionless. When people say, what do you look for in a partner, with the obvious answers being something like, "Handsome", 'Funny", "Connection' blah blah I always think a sense of ambition and passion for what they do. Which is a little hypocritical right now.
But hey, enough of the whinging, I need to be a like a phoenix, rise from the ashes so to speak. Thanks for everyone who has helped me along so far, I need to be more of a giver and less of a taker. I also need to clean up my room is the messiest it has ever been. That's it for now. Peace.
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