3rd Wheel

As a professional 3rd Wheel, I have only just started to notice how my close friends boyfriends are creeping into my life.
I tell my girls my secrets, hoping that they keep it to themselves, but we all know you tell your boyfriend everything, so I just accept that someone I may not know so well knows a LITTLE too much about me. But it's starting to become a good thing.

Lewis and Bek are one of my fave couples. While having gal talk about a not so promising guy situation last year, Bek was her sweet self, Lewis told me honestly 'You sound like you're in that movie 'He's just not that into you'. His honest blokey opinion was just what I needed. On meeting a new man friend of mine recently, Lewis proclaimed 'He has an Aura, I can feel it. Good Dude'. So very quickly Lewis closed the gap on how well Bek knows me and can give personal advice, even though I've known him a fifth of the time I've know Bek.

Simone and Wattsy. Simone and I tell each just about other everything. Proper BFFs. What we ate for lunch, what we really think of our co-workers, how we need to end the conversation to poop, there really are no boundaries anymore. So I assume Daniel knows a LITTLE bit too much about me. But I'd decided to embrace this as just double the friend, like just another annoying brother I have.

It's not so bad after all.

To my faithful readers..

To my faithful reader, the whole one of you, Miss Simone, this is a post for you.
Sorry I haven't blogged lately, I will endeavor to spice up your work day with my inane banter more regularly from now on.
Make some comments while you're at it.
El xx

10 best presents

I recently found a letter from my BFF stating that the gift I gave her that year was 'in the top 10 presents she'd ever received'.

So here are mine in no particular order.

My Sony Walkman. I was 10, and I pretty much shit bricks when I opened it. All time fave present.

Some Gingham flats an ex boyfriend brought me. Yes not a big gift, but he spotted them all on his own, and at the time I often wondered did he actually understood me at all. Briefly after I put on those shoes, I thought he did.

Handmade gift number one. Cat.
Nothing says love like handmade. I got this for my 21st and carried it around at uni the next day.

Handmade gift number two. Photo frame.
Given to me by a girl I'm not too close to, but I just thought what a rad idea. Yet again handmade stuff rules.

Handmade gift number three. Book.
Also made lovingly for my 21st by the ULTRA talented Nat Martin, a fellow design grad of mine. Hand bound people!

Bad Day

Someone once said to me, 'They say suicide is a cry for help, for me, its a cry that there is no help'.
This thought keeps swirling round today, as a family friend loses her partner, and a teenage idol of mine, Alexander McQueen took his own life.
Both Men were loved and gave so much to their community, they weren't the quiet types that no-one knew about. If they can't make it, it doesn't give inspiration to us mere mortals. I don't think I could handle losing someone to suicide. Even a nightmare I had once about an ex-boyfriend dying made me cry in my sleep and it wasn't even real.

R.i.p 'Lee' McQueen, Warren, and my thoughts are with you Emanuel.

"Today is the first day of the rest your life"

"Today is the first day of the rest your life"
So to start with an quote of the WONDERFUL American Beauty.
I'm ready to start the year now, ready for new beginnings.
2010 (apart from the bad start and epic hangover of this weekend) is going along swimmingly. My good mate just had a baby, I am a bridesmaid to one of my oldest and dearest friends, new courses and careers on the horizons, and my friends are pretty much the raddest people I know. I love knowing someone so long, no matter what shit yo pull, you still love each other. Those things, combined with the epic bands coming out in the next few months are the makings of a good year.
So yes tomorrow it begins.
Health. No more feeling out of control, sick all the time.
Do all I can to better my mental health.
Gain new knowledge. Short Course ?
Push new oppurtunties at work.
Try and not be a grub.
Learn how to cook.
Make more clothes.
Blog in my design blog.
Seek new opportunities.
Do more for my family.
Be more responsible with money. And my belongings.
See new me in the Future!

You can take the girl out of King St

Ok So I don't feel so bad about my horrendous start to the year anymore.
I told my friends, and while it was rather crazy town of me, they all thought it was warranted. (Albeit not planned!)

I just really would like a certain someone to fuck off out of my life. That's what I should of said, not become a rambling mess.
1) Please don't befriend work friends/ add them on facebook, esp. when you had no desire to know them in the past.
2) Don't drop to your mates that you found me threatening, was only using me etc.
3) Don't go to clubs that you've mocked me for going to, that play music that you hate.
4) Don't present yourself so gacked you can't keep your limbs from shaking, adorned with hickies and BO. I don't want to pity your lifestyle/ want to help you anymore, you belong in the 'Not my problem' pile.
5) Don't come into my work.
6) Don't complain I blocked you on Facebook. It's just a website.
7) Pretty much stay out of Eloiseland. That is all.

Why I couldn't think of saying that at the time, I wish I knew.

2009, be gone with you.

I am leaving self doubt in 2009.
Boys- It's not the rejection of the individual, its the doubt they place in yourself.
Am I not interesting, skinny, docile, etc. It's just like getting rejected from a job. You might not have really wanted the job, it was a bit far away, not enough money,
but hey, fuck you, I could have done an amazing job of it. Maybe.

So this self doubt needs to go away. When I doubt myself it all just crumbles down.
So I need a plan to get me the opposite of doubt.
Self believe?
Hearing people say you're talented you're this etc only helps somewhat.
This year I have doubted myself more than ever.
Socially retarded, incompetent, lazy, untalented, unemployable, not girlfriend material, bad daughter/friend/employee/ group member, what ever.
Does this matter? No.
Lets leave this self doubt in 2009.