"Today is the first day of the rest your life"

"Today is the first day of the rest your life"
So to start with an quote of the WONDERFUL American Beauty.
I'm ready to start the year now, ready for new beginnings.
2010 (apart from the bad start and epic hangover of this weekend) is going along swimmingly. My good mate just had a baby, I am a bridesmaid to one of my oldest and dearest friends, new courses and careers on the horizons, and my friends are pretty much the raddest people I know. I love knowing someone so long, no matter what shit yo pull, you still love each other. Those things, combined with the epic bands coming out in the next few months are the makings of a good year.
So yes tomorrow it begins.
Health. No more feeling out of control, sick all the time.
Do all I can to better my mental health.
Gain new knowledge. Short Course ?
Push new oppurtunties at work.
Try and not be a grub.
Learn how to cook.
Make more clothes.
Blog in my design blog.
Seek new opportunities.
Do more for my family.
Be more responsible with money. And my belongings.
See new me in the Future!

You can take the girl out of King St

Ok So I don't feel so bad about my horrendous start to the year anymore.
I told my friends, and while it was rather crazy town of me, they all thought it was warranted. (Albeit not planned!)

I just really would like a certain someone to fuck off out of my life. That's what I should of said, not become a rambling mess.
1) Please don't befriend work friends/ add them on facebook, esp. when you had no desire to know them in the past.
2) Don't drop to your mates that you found me threatening, was only using me etc.
3) Don't go to clubs that you've mocked me for going to, that play music that you hate.
4) Don't present yourself so gacked you can't keep your limbs from shaking, adorned with hickies and BO. I don't want to pity your lifestyle/ want to help you anymore, you belong in the 'Not my problem' pile.
5) Don't come into my work.
6) Don't complain I blocked you on Facebook. It's just a website.
7) Pretty much stay out of Eloiseland. That is all.

Why I couldn't think of saying that at the time, I wish I knew.

2009, be gone with you.

I am leaving self doubt in 2009.
Boys- It's not the rejection of the individual, its the doubt they place in yourself.
Am I not interesting, skinny, docile, etc. It's just like getting rejected from a job. You might not have really wanted the job, it was a bit far away, not enough money,
but hey, fuck you, I could have done an amazing job of it. Maybe.

So this self doubt needs to go away. When I doubt myself it all just crumbles down.
So I need a plan to get me the opposite of doubt.
Self believe?
Hearing people say you're talented you're this etc only helps somewhat.
This year I have doubted myself more than ever.
Socially retarded, incompetent, lazy, untalented, unemployable, not girlfriend material, bad daughter/friend/employee/ group member, what ever.
Does this matter? No.
Lets leave this self doubt in 2009.

2009- Friendships Defined.

So 2009 has been a pretty average year.
And I am one of many that has felt that way.
I've been down, and sailed some rough seas.
But to draw out the positives, I've has some company to battle those seas.
To those that listened to my whinging this year, I thank you.
I truly believe that you're nothing if no-one cares about you, you guys make me feel like someone
.

Rough Seas Ahead

I’m calling all my oldest friends,
Saying sorry for this mess we’re in.
And I’m waiting, waiting,
For the sun to come and melt this snow,
Wash away the pain and give me back control, control.

Winter- Bayside.
Although I declared the winter of my discontent to be over, rough seas are forecast ahead. So I need to call my friends and explain this mess I'm in. eloiseland isn't so sunny right now, come in, plant some flowers in the garden, and I'll be sure to water your plants when you're on holiday. Aka- things aren't 100% right now, please help, but I'll be sure to return the favour.

I haven't yet decided how I am going to deal with My sister being sick again, last time I was 16. Punk rock? Exercise? Hell, I'm even considering religion. I need distraction and support. Time to toughen up.

A book told me I had to write my feelings down.

So here I am after said book said it would be a good idea.
I'm not sure where to start.
I have been assigned at week long break from work, and also advised not to drink.
Great.
Seeing as most of this blog is mostly about boys, and I started this blog as I had no-one to talk to, I shall continue with the trend.
I was discussing how most the boys I'd met, were boys from the same scene from the same clubs, but all making impact on my life.
I think people come to your life for a reason, and you have a lesson to be learnt from them. And sometimes that lesson is not always a good one.

We'll start with Benny. You taught me that sometimes, you are just too young for someone, and the lessons they have learnt cannot be undone, no matter how much you want them to.

Then L. I wasn't in love with you, even though you thought I was. Adam summed it up well. 'Sometimes, some people, just don't like some people'. No matter how many jager bombs you buy me I'll hopefully never reneg. Lesson learnt- Some people are just not into you!

N. We weren't ever anything, but you inspired me to look for a mental match in life, even if that means weirdos like us. Please keep spreading your infectious energy and passion for punk rock. Lesson learnt- Be yourself.

Next we'll go with S. Ahhh such impact you had on my life. I liked you, I really did, but I knew it wasn't meant to be. Thanks for apoligising for ruining my life, you broke my little heart and it took a while to get over. You took my youthful innocence and I've never got it back. Lesson learnt- Don't go out with someone that doesn't make you feel yourself.

L. You liked me even though I thought I was a piece of shit at the time. I'm sorry we were shit to each other, it could have been good. Lesson learnt- Some things will remain unresolved.

R. I'm not sure if I still dislike you, but please don't convince a girl they are your soulmate and then ignore them ever again. Don't fake it. Lesson learnt- Don't go out with someone when you are not over the last guy, you will be blind to reality.

A. Quite the rare bird. I am really not sure what lesson you are, good or bad . We'll see in time.

Ok that blog was really not what I am feeling right now, but hey, it killed some time. I'm not sure anyone reads this anyway.
Peace.

Your life's a crime scene, and it won't help to blame me...

So I thought I'd start a blog post with a Bayside quote, seeing as when I lose my shit I feel like my life is a bit of a crime scene.

I have learnt FARRRRRRRRRrr too many lessons this year, I am just about done, let the good times roll, please?

-Don't study a highly specialised field and expect a graduate job.
-Don't rely on others.
-Don't go into business with friends.
-Don't forget to put oil and water in your car.
-Don't expect all friendships to stay the same. Things change.
-Don't be impatient with boys, and expect too much too soon.
-Don't put your iPhone in a small pocket than go to the toilet.
-Don't stalk boys ex girl friends facebooks, they may write nasty comments, but you can't retaliate due to being a lurker in the first place.
-Don't drink more than 2 glasses on wine in one sitting. It makes you spew.
-Don't wear your Melissa's for all of the night.
-Don't forget to put your wallet ACTUALLY in your bag.

Far to much learning, now to get on with living.