And on the ninth day, God created the internets

Hello there!
It's been a while. Many things have happened. The biggest of which, I survived TWO WHOLE MONTHS without the internet.
Granted yes, I had the old pie phone and read my facebook/ twitter feeds a little too religiously, but technically no internet.
And honesty, I didn't miss it.

At first I felt a little out of touch, not being first with information ( oh know someone knew about the Ou Est Le Swimming Pool disaster 7 minutes before me, etc), but eventually I grew accustomed to having more time. Time for gym, friends, cleaning and most of all being creative. So al I can say is GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET PEOPLE! There's a whole world out there, a real world with actual friends and conversation.

NB- Feel free to remind me of this post when again my Macbook becomes my 5th limb.

Eloise is a fan of...

Well hello there,it's been a while. It's come to my attention I have some new followers, that perhaps aren't really fans of Eloise. Although I don't think I'm that interesting, I'll tell you, at this period in time, what I am a fan of.

Facebook Groups- Eloise is not a fan.
I don't care if you liked a TV show in the 90's, you're not obscure or unique. So I hear you're a fan of sleeping in? Well done, I'm also a fan of sleeping, eating, breathing, chewing, swallowing, etc. Do I get a reward?

Soundwave- Eloise is a fan.
So my two fave bands, Bayside and Less than Jake are coming back for Soundwave next year. Which is a 7/10 for great news, the 3 missing points being not hearing those songs that aren't quite appropriate for festival sets. But hey, 2 big bands in one day, let's see if I can have an excitement attack like 2009.

Addicts for the Dramatics- Eloise is not a fan.
My life has enough drama and excitement. Trust me. I just don't get why my life has guest appearances by people who wish to add extra drama to my life. Are their lives so boring? I am not wearing enough lying/trouble maker/jealous type character repellent? Do they need to bring others down to feel good about themselves? I think I'll put it down to one of lifes mysteries.

Red Hair- Eloise is a fan.
I do miss my blonde hair, but I have been getting so many compliments it makes it fun. Let's see how Ranga power goes for Julia. Speaking of which...

The Election- Eloise is not a fan.
I don't care about boat people. Not in the slightest. They don't even make up a significant preportion of 'Illegal Immigrants'. (Which is another topic I'm over hearing about. Australia is massive. Stop being greedy)
They came here from disaster/war-torn, developing (aka. Fucked) countries on the Ocean equivalent of a clapped out VN Commodore owned by several P Plater boys. Give them a medal, not detention.
So please Politicians, give us something decent to vote about.

Gozleme- Eloise is a fan.
Sometimes working in a multicultural town has its upsides.

Creepy Men at the Gym- Eloise is not a fan.
Yes, I do go to the gym in a multicultural town with people from diferent cultures that don't interact with women the same way. But seriously, personal space AND personal hygeine are paramount in such establishments. I'm there to work out not get chatted up by creepy dudes, and seriously man, you're like 60.
But hey, these characters do provide comic relief for me and my instructor.

Glee- Eloise is a fan.
I fucking love Glee, and I don't care what anyone says. The show brings me so much joy, and 'Don't Stop Believin' is my most favourite track to listen to at the gym. Screw all you haters and naysayers, the show rules.

Eloise loves the interwebz

So I seem to have missed a few gems in my last best of the internet for Eloise roundup.
This months gems are
1)Loltatz
This is quite a winner, being update with internet meme trends AND bad tattoos. Win.
2) Neekersneakers
This girl is pretty much a genius.
3)Look at this fucking hipster An oldie but a goodie.
4)27b/6 My sincere apologies for not including it last time. Prepare to kiss away your productivity for today.

I'm sure there's something I'm forgetting, I will update soon

Aspirational Purchasing.

Many of us buy things to fit into our aspirational lifestyle, hell, whole industries are built on it. Do you think everyone that wears surf brands owns a surfboard? Or wears Nike is an athlete? No, but its what we aspire to be that is import. Or important to the companies that take our money. But how much aspiration is too much?

I spend far too much time (internet) window shopping for clothes to wear to jobs I haven't got, for umbrellas for train trips I don't yet take. Is this bad or good I don't know. As we speak I am finishing up making a dress for job interviews I'm yet to have. There's nothing wrong with being prepared right?

Holiday Road...

Can I take a holiday from being me??

One where
-No customers take their shitty moods out of me?
- I don't analyse every single piece of food I eat ?
-I don't get judged for my lack of career?
-I exercise and my ankle doesn't cripple me?
-I can have civil arguments with my brother?
-My sister doesn't take her moods out on me?
- I don't spend every second of the day thinking I should be trying harder then I am, doing more, achieving more, exercising more, being the better person, eating less, being more responsible with money?

Tomorrow is that day.
If I don't take a day off from my life, I will lose my shit.

I blog therefore..

So I thought I'd do a quick post of my favorite time suckers on the internet, at this current moment.
Ok, we'll go top 10 ( Other than the obvious. Everyone uses facebook.)

1) The Vine.
Best place for upcoming trends, local music/ fashion news. I find things out here.

2)Regretsy. For the lolz.

3)Topshop. For what Sportsgirl/ Glassons/ etc will be stocking next season.

4)IMDB. This not only helps me at work, it helps me kill time while I'm there.

5) People of Walmart. I love America, all aspects of it.

6) Tacky Weddings. Once again, for the Lulz.

7) The Grates on Tour. I wanna be BFFs with Patience.

8) I aM AnThony. This dude is my god.

9)Fuck Yeah 4Chan. Not that regulary updated, but as the description says, All the memes without the mess.

10) Killyourstereo. Refer 4), part B.

My life is a slapstick comedy

You can't script that shit that happens to me.
My life is never smooth sailing, but it's amusing highs and lows keep it all interesting.

Last night, I opened my bag to find my phone had been on a call for 4 mins, to an Ex suitor whose number I should have deleted long ago. Tragic thing is though, I'm pretty sure these 4 mins, were when I was in the toilet.
Tragic AND hilarious.